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Not Gonna Say

from Peaches and Plums by Lauren Fairweather

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Eliot Waugh's perspective of his interactions with Quentin Coldwater from the first two episodes of Season One of The Magicians.

lyrics

I just met this guy, he’s kinda shy
Asked me
“Where the hell am I”
You’re upstate and you’re late
You’re not hallucinating
“Great”
Follow me, find a seat
And don’t you dare flunk out on me

Hey, you’re kind of strange, look at that name
Here’s another costume change
Oh hell yes, you passed the test
Now come along and see the rest
I can’t be sure, but I think you’re
The interruption I’ve been waiting for

I can’t stop my eyes from wandering
When you walk into a room
Can you tell I’ve got a painful crush on you?

But I’m not gonna say
Cause my heart is gonna break
Not gonna say
Cause you’d say no anyway

But I could swear
There’s something there
Except you’re probably straight
I might be falling for you
But I’m not gonna say

Q, you’re pretty cute, shaking in your boots
I wanna get you in your birthday suit
You get this look and I am hooked
When you talk about those books
So I flirt. It couldn’t hurt
I can’t resist an introvert

Huh. You caused a fuss, come home with us
You didn’t tell me you were dangerous
You’ve been expelled, and I can tell
That you’re not taking it so well
You share your past, and I bond fast
I put my darkest secret on blast

Then I offered to seduce you
In case that memory would suffice
And you thanked me after you said “that sounds nice”

But I’m not gonna say
Cause my heart is gonna break
Not gonna say
Cause you’d say no anyway

I hope you know
You’re not alone
Some magic comes from pain
I think I’m falling for you
But I’m not gonna say

Guess it all turned out okay cause
You found us grilling in the rain
And the face you made when I called out your name

I’m not gonna say
That I thought of you all day
Not gonna say
That I’d hoped you’d get to stay
I know you’ll mean
A lot to me
Until we’re old and gray
I’m so damn into you
But I’m not gonna say
I’m just enjoying the view
But I’m not gonna say
Yeah I’m still falling for you
But I’m not gonna say

credits

from Peaches and Plums, released October 2, 2020
Written, performed, and recorded by Lauren Fairweather. Piano by Mike Stein. Bass and electric guitar by j.ferguson. Mixed and mastered by j. ferguson for Pitch & Prose. Album artwork by Evelyn Rogers.

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Lauren Fairweather Rhode Island

Acoustic indie songs about books, TV shows, and other fandom love.

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