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about

This song is from the perspective of Eliot from The Magicians and it contains spoilers from season 3 episode 5 and season 4 episode 5. This is a one-take recording, which is why I'm offering it as 'name your price'. I'm saving up to have it recorded and produced for real someday, so anything you are able to contribute will be super appreciated.

lyrics

I am trapped in my memories
Reliving my deepest regrets
Then it finally hit me
The one that I’d tried to forget

When someone good and true loved me
And he went out on a limb
I pretended it didn’t matter
Snuffed it right out
and watched it break him

The truth is I was afraid
And when I am afraid I run away
So I ran away

Cause you are more
Than I felt like I deserved
Wish I had been braver
Why couldn’t I be braver

And if I get one more chance
to tell you how I feel
Next time I’ll be braver
You taught me to be braver.

Did you know that I loved you
That day we first laid out the tiles
All the peaches and plums we could eat
No signs of danger for miles

In a whole other lifetime
We grew old, had a family at that
You and me, we worked for 50 years
Who gets proof of concept like that?

I hate that I was afraid
But now I finally have the guts to say
I’d choose you any day

Cause you are all
I could ever want and more
Wish I had been braver
Why couldn’t I be braver?

And if I get one more chance
to tell you how I feel
Next time I’ll be braver
You taught me to be braver.

If I ever get out of here, Q
Know that when I’m braver, it’s cause I learned it from you

credits

from The Magicians Sessions, released April 1, 2020
Written and performed by Lauren Fairweather. Inspired by The Magicians, the TV show adaptation of the book series by Lev Grossman

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Lauren Fairweather Cranston, Rhode Island

Mostly acoustic indie songs about books, TV shows, and other fandom love.

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